As a family member, it’s difficult to see loved ones struggling to cope with hearing loss. And yet, for many, it’s also challenging to have a conversation about it.
Many people are in denial about their hearing loss or get defensive when the subject is raised. In addition, losing your hearing can be disorienting, and some people still associate it with aging (though hearing loss is on the rise among all generations).
Rest assured, if you have a family member or close friend who seems to be having difficulty handling their hearing loss, there are some ways that you can approach the subject constructively. Here are a few tips.
Decide on the best time and place to talk
Starting a conversation about a difficult subject can be easier when it is broached in the right setting and at the most appropriate time. It might be tempting to raise the topic as misunderstandings occur in conversation, but that can make your loved one feel more defensive. You’re more likely to get a response like, “I just didn’t hear you because of the background noise here.” It also makes it seem like you’re starting the conversation spur of the moment, instead of talking about something you’ve noticed over time. Instead, plan a time to talk when you’re alone, in a quiet setting, and can speak uninterrupted.
If appropriate, use humor
Injecting the right level of humor into a conversation about a difficult subject can help make the topic less wrong. It can ease your loved one into talking freely about their hearing loss. Of course, you know your family member best, but don’t discount the value humor can bring in these challenging conversations.
Use the first-person
Word usage can affect how your loved one responds to you when speaking about a subject that may make them uncomfortable and cause them to become defensive. Speak directly about what their hearing loss means to you. People are also more motivated to get the help that they need if they realize that others they care about are directly affected by their hearing loss.
Be positive
Express optimism. Talk about how you’re glad you can speak freely about it, that hearing loss is often easily treatable, and how seeking help will improve their quality of life. Focusing on the benefits may motivate them into action.
Approach the conversation with love
In most cases, your loved one may already be very reluctant to have a conversation about their hearing loss. If you want to have a fruitful conversation that shows that you care, it is essential that your approach them with love instead of frustration. In conversation, people often unconsciously match your tone. So starting out right and focusing on the positive, even if their initial reaction is denial, will go a long way.
Assume they already know
It is highly likely that your loved one is aware that their hearing is slipping and that it may be time to seek professional treatment. Start the conversation with this assumption, and they may surprise you with how they respond.
Be an empathic listener
Being a good listener means that you are actively listening to your loved one’s concerns. If it is appropriate, allow them to steer the discussion and do most of the talking. In response, you should acknowledge that you understand their concerns.